Getting drunk...

It was great getting drunk for the first time. In fact, almost one day later, I am still drunk. It's pleasant. You particularly become aware of it when you walk. Your head spins a bit, and the steps are haphazard. But somewhere there's a rhythm. It was lovely to get drunk. I want to do it again. Boo suggested 2 weeks, but I guess 1 year gap should be fine :)

What a crybaby God has made me. Had I not cried so much yesterday, I wouldn't have gone drinking. I had decided in my mind that we'd go to the Ragigudda temple. That's one of my most favorite temples in Bangalore. But at times, you just give in - he was tired of listening to me and needed a drink(at least that's what he said).

I quite competed with him. My eyes were already red and swollen from crying, after the first pitcher was over, my face was also flushed pink. We went on to finish a second pitcher, and the waiter candidly asked us, "you want another one?" He must be pretty familiar with the problems of seasoned drinkers and disturbed lovers.

Head was throbbing while we were driving back. All night I couldn't sleep. I kept praying to God. I kept remembering Saradindu. The first part might be genuinely understandable. The second part is definitely curious. But then, this is another guy I am blind about. I kept asking him, why does your theory about agni and ghee fail? Early morning I felt, may be there is more than that to a man-woman relationship. May be there is a father and daughter. May be there is a best friends.

My Boo's not a hungry monster like other men (when you are drunk, why is it that you want to replace the word men with bustards?) And you know what, the only trouble I had in mind till date was, he has never been unhappy. His happiness was like a wall between us. Yesterday's drink destroyed that wall. Was I happy to know he's also seen hell? No, but I felt inclined to forget my problems for the time being, and bring him out of his unrealistic world. Damn, nobody harms my Boo, the Durga Mata in me awakened and said :)

It was fun. I never lost my senses. Just the control on my steps. My health is completely gone. It will only get well, when things are fine. This much I can make out. But it was good of him to at least fulfill two of my wishes. For a long time I wanted to cook something proper for him (apart from khichdi, eggburji and daal chawal). We cooked pulao and egg curry yesterday. Well, you know, even if I am not given a 5 star kitchen, I can cook pretty well. Especially the pulao is becoming better every time. And then, I wanted to get drunk. When at night, we were returning home, he said, "Boo, you wanted to get drunk, I have got you drunk". I replied from behind him, "Idiot, I wanted to get drunk, to be able to propose to you". He replied from front, "You know what, you got drunk and proposed to me". Tell you, it was particularly hilarious.

But it feels good to have done all you could. You can now blame your fate, but you can't blame yourself. And what happens to my job? I didn't go to office today. So I couldn't resign. How will it look when the alliances manager walks like a drunkard and talks with a slurred speech? Who would understand that the alliances manager was busy planning her own alliance? In the process she got a leeeeeetle drunk :) :)

See, it's always worthwhile to live. Had I gotten married two years back, I'd never had so much fun yesterday. Told you, way he has allowed me to live, no man ever has. He gives me complete freedom. Be yourself and do whatever you want, you are my equal. What did he say? "You are my best buddy...but when did you become such a trouble maker?" Man, swear on God, I never knew the effect of alcohol remains one full day.

My baby, it's true that I had to kill you, but trust me, I'd go to any extent to bring you back. You'll come back and you'll live. I never forget you, but I have now come out of the guilt. I shall give you a good life. At least, I'll try my best. The world is not a good place you see...