Broken trust...

Had got quite addicted to serial killers. Started reading about them in wiki (I am a big fan of wiki for a long time now). It's like whenever I come across something new, I read about it in wiki. Most of my latest fascinations, including Hollywood movies etc, have actually stemmed from this habit of reading. I remember the small encyclopedia dad used to have, used to be one of dad's most treasured possessions. It was from my childhood, that whenever we came across something new, dad used to look it up in the book or in dad's fat 2 volume complete Oxford dictionary. 99% cases we'd be enlightened by one or both of them :D

But the thing that triggered off this reading about serial killers was one occurrence I never imagined, would happen. She's been my friend and mentor for such a long time. She has pampered me like an elder sister. I never wanted her to go through this trauma. Happily married for 6 years now, with a lovely kid - she had everything one could crave for in life. Only - KANK happened. For the first time, I could see the version of KANK from Rhea's perspective. I told you, it was beyond my belief. I actually liked her husband. He was always warm and caring and had a kind of authenticity, which might have even made me fantasize about him once or twice. But it was rather harmless for I was dead convinced that he is not that kind of guy. He won't cheat. He is not only satisfied, almost proud of his family life.

For the first time I found my character analysis going wrong to this extent. I initially turned to wiki to read psychology, which is anyways my favorite subject apart from literature and computers. How I got directed to the first serial killer page I don't remember, but for full two nights I did little else, than being glued to the laptop reading about them. Actually I am still not done, but just that having read so much in such a small duration, I am a little bored, so kinda gave up.

But it was scary man. First night was particularly scary. It was worse than reading a ghost story or watching a horror movie. I was actually scared to go to the toilet even. I feared darkness and was skeptical about sleeping. The very fact that such people exist - made me quite unstable. I am a trusting girl, always like observing people when inside a packed public transport, try to be cordial and accommodating, and attempt to analyze their traits (may be because one day I hope to become a writer, and this would cater to my plots). It was unimaginable for me that one of them would be the Houston Murderer or Son of Sam. Frankly speaking, I now feel I have to visit US, if not for anything else, for the fact that it has produced such people.

My bro, I remember, pleaded with me, not to watch Silence of the Lambs. But I had to watch for two reasons - 1. It was one the best movies made ever and got 5 oscars, 2. Had always loved Sangharsh, wanted to watch the movie it was inspired from. I expected myself to be at least scared, was surprised when it didn't affect me at all. Why, as stated earlier, Woh Lamhe had scared me more.

You know why? I am an imaginative girl, fiction doesn't scare me much. It is not much of a competition to my thinking. But truth indeed, is stranger. And way more gruesome.

I hope my friend will recover and their marriage will stay. My belief that faithful men do exist, is not at all shaken. I can see happily married couples all around me. Only change is - psychology interests me more. The darker and negative edge of psychology. How can a good man turn bad? I definitely need to research more about this.