The dilemma...

For the first time in my life I write this entry while I am flying. Usually I never do anything concrete when I am airborne. People check and clear up their mailboxes, finish pending reviews and reports - usual nuances of a professional life, I never do such things. Firstly I am very organized with work anyways, and then flights are for eating and entertainment. In domestic flights I usually carry my iPod, which hasn't been charged in the last decade or so. So I didn't bother carrying it this time. Already with a phone, a tab and a laptop, I am struggling with the charging routine. In the international flights my neighbors often strike up conversations, though I am never the first one to approach, I readily oblige when someone takes the trouble to talk to me. But usually these are very shortlived friendships. I remember so many people who took email ids or phone numbers - and hardly bothered to get back in touch. Some elderly guy, who turned out to be a Sagittarian too, had called me his sister and all. I had written him off as usual, but then, outside the baggage claim area, I found him waiting for me, and he vociferously promised to write to me. I kinda believed him then - and kept checking for his mails, but in vain.

This time I am writing because I have nothing better to do. The sudden discovery that the display of my phone has stopped working, as soon as I took my seat and was trying to put it in flight mode, got me quite agitated. However, I soon took it in my stride, way I usually do these days. I have become quite a positive thinker and crisis handler. I quickly told myself, well, I have a spare phone at home, I can call from the tab as well (though I usually use that sim only for Internet) - and it'd take a couple of thousand bucks to mend the screen, which I should be able to afford, as I haven't spent a single paisa on my smartphones till date (all are gifts from my brother, which in turn are gifts to him from his organization, which err, used to be, till some time back, one of the smart phone manufacturing giants - he's changed his company last November)...

It feels bad when things go wrong - all the time - with me. The obvious "why me?" query takes a grip... I try to shrug it off, try to face things bravely, tell myself that I only need to handle it, when there's no one else to do that for me...but once in a rare while I too want to be pampered and cared for...wish someone would put his arms around me and comfort a bit.

Why am I going back? Kolkata doesn't hold any significance for me anymore. Hyderabad seemed more my kinda place, the corporate flavor, the independent living...at times I fail to understand who I am trying to fool... :(