Just how different is this time's stay in Prague than the other times? Well I'll try to enumerate.
1. I write so less. If you see...all other times my onsite stays are the ones when my blog has really come alive. I have so much time...to think and talk and walk through this realm of self realization. But this time it is so different. I am tired, or lazy or weary to write on my repetitive thoughts. It seems I have been put in a time capsule. Can do nothing as per my wish, as per a predefined schedule. I am always running late and never able to find enough motivation. The crux of the matter is, I put down my thoughts or don't, either ways it'd lead to nowhere.
2. I don't like Prague. I don't know how many times I have written in this blog itself, and just how many more times I have told everyone I know, that Prague is my most favorite place on earth. And this time, nothing attracts me. It seems so lifeless. Can you imagine, in my stay of more than a month, I have never gone to Charles Bridge and Old Town Square? Only home, office, Tesco and Interspar has been my domain here. Only existence, no life...
3. I am more unsocial than ever. I seldom login to gtalk, except office hours, I hardly ever login to Facebook. I haven't talked yet with anyone except mom, dad and Boo over the phone, except the official calls.
4. First time I am onsite and I am reading a book. This has never ever happened. Not in Singapore, not in my earlier visits to Prague. I have always carried books with me, but never ever read them, not even a page. This time, I have finished around 470 pages of a 700+ period novel in Bengali (Sei Samay). It is not that I enjoy reading the book or remain engrossed in it completely. Even this I do reluctantly....but I do.
5. I don't know why...but it seems it is becoming an all negative's list:
~I planned to go and sit in this nearby park and do some pencil sketch - didn't work out.
~I made this wonderful prawn curry with coconut and didn't enjoy eating it - it is supposed to be my most favorite food on earth, just ate it mechanically.
~Every weekend I prepare some new stuff, take a photo and send Bee, as for me, all I fret is the cooking is not spoiled, I'm able to finish it before that.
6. The only happy part is when I eat lunch out with my Czech colleagues, and end up giving them a good doze of lecture every time, on India in particular and Asia in general. Mostly I'm doing all the talking, they just ask questions, and they might be bored, but I enjoy it a lot...
7. My complete lack of chemistry with the Leo. Why the Leo, men in general don't allure me anymore. Despite all my efforts at looking good, I look less than average (mostly because of my Snivellus Snape type of hair), and I have kind of given up on all girlish feelings. Towards the beginning of my stay I made such a fuss about my eyebrows, and went and got an expensive pair of tweezers, but now, eyebrows are again in bad shape, and I don't even care.
8. My entire times goes in Boo. I talk to him, think about him, mail him, chat with him, quarrel if he doesn't show enough interest, and on top of that even dream about him. Strange strange dreams, where mostly he is going away from me or just treating me as a mere acquaintance. It breaks my heart when Boo doesn't give me enough importance...when he is not romantic (and he is never romantic, never ever). I can't explain...I just crave to be near him. I feel, for the first ever time in my life, I am ready for a life with someone else, having considered all the cons, all the loopholes, all the loss of independence. I feel so so ready to chuck away my old life and enter a new one. I am still undecided, about what to do, if an offer comes to stay here further. The reason why I am not yet raising it is, in the core of my heart, I really want to go back. Be with him. I can't imagine a life without him now.
Ok, time to go and start preparation for my squid rings. That is first item for this weekend :)
1. I write so less. If you see...all other times my onsite stays are the ones when my blog has really come alive. I have so much time...to think and talk and walk through this realm of self realization. But this time it is so different. I am tired, or lazy or weary to write on my repetitive thoughts. It seems I have been put in a time capsule. Can do nothing as per my wish, as per a predefined schedule. I am always running late and never able to find enough motivation. The crux of the matter is, I put down my thoughts or don't, either ways it'd lead to nowhere.
2. I don't like Prague. I don't know how many times I have written in this blog itself, and just how many more times I have told everyone I know, that Prague is my most favorite place on earth. And this time, nothing attracts me. It seems so lifeless. Can you imagine, in my stay of more than a month, I have never gone to Charles Bridge and Old Town Square? Only home, office, Tesco and Interspar has been my domain here. Only existence, no life...
3. I am more unsocial than ever. I seldom login to gtalk, except office hours, I hardly ever login to Facebook. I haven't talked yet with anyone except mom, dad and Boo over the phone, except the official calls.
4. First time I am onsite and I am reading a book. This has never ever happened. Not in Singapore, not in my earlier visits to Prague. I have always carried books with me, but never ever read them, not even a page. This time, I have finished around 470 pages of a 700+ period novel in Bengali (Sei Samay). It is not that I enjoy reading the book or remain engrossed in it completely. Even this I do reluctantly....but I do.
5. I don't know why...but it seems it is becoming an all negative's list:
~I planned to go and sit in this nearby park and do some pencil sketch - didn't work out.
~I made this wonderful prawn curry with coconut and didn't enjoy eating it - it is supposed to be my most favorite food on earth, just ate it mechanically.
~Every weekend I prepare some new stuff, take a photo and send Bee, as for me, all I fret is the cooking is not spoiled, I'm able to finish it before that.
6. The only happy part is when I eat lunch out with my Czech colleagues, and end up giving them a good doze of lecture every time, on India in particular and Asia in general. Mostly I'm doing all the talking, they just ask questions, and they might be bored, but I enjoy it a lot...
7. My complete lack of chemistry with the Leo. Why the Leo, men in general don't allure me anymore. Despite all my efforts at looking good, I look less than average (mostly because of my Snivellus Snape type of hair), and I have kind of given up on all girlish feelings. Towards the beginning of my stay I made such a fuss about my eyebrows, and went and got an expensive pair of tweezers, but now, eyebrows are again in bad shape, and I don't even care.
8. My entire times goes in Boo. I talk to him, think about him, mail him, chat with him, quarrel if he doesn't show enough interest, and on top of that even dream about him. Strange strange dreams, where mostly he is going away from me or just treating me as a mere acquaintance. It breaks my heart when Boo doesn't give me enough importance...when he is not romantic (and he is never romantic, never ever). I can't explain...I just crave to be near him. I feel, for the first ever time in my life, I am ready for a life with someone else, having considered all the cons, all the loopholes, all the loss of independence. I feel so so ready to chuck away my old life and enter a new one. I am still undecided, about what to do, if an offer comes to stay here further. The reason why I am not yet raising it is, in the core of my heart, I really want to go back. Be with him. I can't imagine a life without him now.
Ok, time to go and start preparation for my squid rings. That is first item for this weekend :)
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