Well...many people have told me, that they couldn't stand the movie, couldn't endure it, couldn't live through it. I being a more or less gentle soul, perhaps would have felt the same. But I have seen Vishal's Maqbool. Undaunted. And then I was in the weakest state possible. And in my fierce-most self. So I could watch the entire movie at a stretch. And appreciate it.
Many people would reject it outright because they would find it impossible. I didn't. I haven't suffered to her extent. But I have suffered. Things I never deserved have happened to me. I can understand her.
Revenge is something that is not in my blood. I am a weak-minded girl. It's only in my mind that I wanna see myself happy. In actuality, I want everyone else to be happy, be it a friend, or an enemy, but definitely not me. What makes me vulnerable, gullible is...you know what it is. I don't want it.
I did a mistake today. A grave mistake. I wanted to tell someone. I chose the wrong person. I tried to speak the truth. But the truth came out. I know it was the truth, and that's why I deleted the entire conversation...not at all out of sudden wrath. It is reason enough for anyone to get hurt. I am an ugly old girl. But if someone comes and tells me...that so and so miss world is better looking than you, I shall get hurt all the same.
What truth? I have asked this question earlier also. In how many forms does it exist? I didn't and I don't. This is my life. I accept it as it is. Without any hope of miracle.
She gave a fight, and finally repented. I didn't give it a fight, and I repent. But in one way both of us are same. We are the final losers. Because we had faith.
This role couldn't have been done by anyone else on earth. Hats off Priyanka :) Meghna Mathur only made me think all night, what would Susanna do? A kid from my trainee batch told me that day, that the world is a bad place, but not so bad. I insist that the world be bad for me. I am more afraid of light than of darkness. I remember that Friday. The pain of uprooting. The unsuppressed tears. Month of June, 5 years back and month of July, 1 year back. I don't want any part of it back. I am done with all worldly longings. Let me live without a soul. I am scared of laughter.
Anger, is the best expression of love. I was not angry on anybody else today. I was angry with myself. I love myself a lot. I can see myself in pain, but I don't want to die.
Vishal's music is as usual, enthralling. I am sorry, I didn't really notice if Vishal is the music director. But...it has the Vishal like charm to it. Why does Vivaan Shah act like Devanand? The only problem with hindi movies is perhaps the sensor board. Takes away life from a movie. When you are telling such a kind of story, you need to show the horror to a much greater extent. When will the Indian audience grow up?
Life is beautiful. I don't have your husband, your kid, still I believe in your philosophy. I, who is bullied at the hands of destiny, every now and then. I agree with you. Life is indeed, beautiful. Some people are just not allowed to see its beauty :)
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