It rained...it finally rained...I really can't put in words the turmoil I was going through since last evening. I was dead tired when I returned home, wept a little to myself, and fell asleep. Didn't even wake up for dinner. The morning was even worse. I was in a semi dazed state...and was going through a nightmare. Can't describe it in exact words, but it meant, I am trying my best to conceal my pains from my parents, from my near and dear ones, and I am failing miserably. The failure came out in the crudest possible form. I remember that at the end, it was near about 8 in the morning, I was gradually waking up, I started crying, taking your name. Don't do this to me...talk to me once...just for once...
It rained you know. All day I was trying to put myself together. Washed the clothes, cleaned the utensils, made some quick sweet dish for myself, some fried lunch, a creamy lukewarm glass of coffee, just the way I want...and gave my whole day to gaaner opare...
I was still disturbed...in fact towards the afternoon I became so restless once again, just couldn't comfort myself. Wanted to go out. Got ready also...but then just didn't feel like it. Again came back on the bed. And you know what happened? It came inside my room. Crossing my balcony, my layers of curtains....the lightning. The thunder. And I ran, ran, ran...ran to the window in the hall. The roads were swept with rain. A real torrential rain. Just the way mom described...how it was raining today in Kolkata...Did it rain today in your place also? Did you see the rain? And did you remember me? Did you miss me like before...even for one moment? It has been 3 months in Praha, it never rained like this. Never did I hear thunder here. The rain was a mere meek, disciplined drizzle...always. Oh how I ran, as if I was running to you. Running in your arms. I got an answer to my questions. You still feel my pain. I have lost everything, can't lose this faith. Don't make me lose this faith...
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