So I got to know what I wanted to know...the wife is very much there...
Hence the principled me should essentially stop loving my most favorite person, i.e...I have to hide (or kill) my greatest and truest realization till date...else the only option is to pretend being just his friend...
Problem is that I can do neither...falsehood is not my forte...
Where do I go from here, dear God with the capital G? I feel this soft touch on my lips when he says that he gets easily tired of relationships, so if he can't keep replying to my mails, I shouldn't feel that he's disinterested towards me...
And when I bare my soul in front of this person with whom I am talking after a decade, and he gets agitated, happy and anxious at the same time, I feel as if there's a riot of vermilion on my forehead, as if Holi has come early :)
Death still seems to be the only option, only this time I can die in peace, and only after all my duties are over. Had I not lived on despite all that happened, would I have ever known this happiness? Would I have been able to hope against hope that there would be at least someone to cry for me when I die?
I can't stop loving him, and I won't pretend, even if it means complete estrangement once more... Yes, it'll break my heart one last time, but that's what love is all about...
No comments:
Post a Comment