The lost case...

https://youtu.be/oXLzfldeDcM

This is how an immortal creation happens. If you analyze you'll see there's nothing less than perfect in this song. The music, the singing, the visuals and oh the expressions.

He inspires to revive
What has long died in me,
That I'd rather bury deep,
If only he'd let me be...

But he won't let me be. Some attractions are born in heaven. We mortals don't even understand when we fall in that whirlwind. Never in my life will I forget that first clammy handshake with my bossie wishing him happy birthday. I was a dead person then too. So far as my psychology went at that time, it was an impossible relationship even then (looking back it doesn't seem so impossible, had I tried he'd have responded, I was way too proud to ask). But that didn't stop the attraction from taking root.

So it is the same story repeated. It gives me goosebumps. Because finally I am a grown up woman - I have been a child all these while. Imagine a room with four people, both of us included. I drop something. He's the one sitting farthest from me. He stands up, approaches me, bends down very near my feet, picks it up and hands it over to me. I mumble a vague thank you. The Gertrude in me beams, what a well-mannered boy. The Ophelia in me blushes. The woman in me is skeptical. She'll go mad soon. She knows. Yet she gets goosebumps. She almost enjoys falling in love one more time. That romance. The intensity. I want to die. I want to clutch the walls of my room and cry. I want to hide myself. The melancholy is so palpable...it chokes me.

I stopped myself today from doing anything foolish. I won't do anything foolish in the future. But the love is there. I am not mistaken about it...the surge of sexuality stings.

And this is the maximum madness that I can do...