Tuesday, December 23, 2014

The Candy Confusion...

D'bhai...come meet the craziest girl on earth. No really...no joke. She is this perfect drama queen. All day she has been sad (no... seriously sad). And then came evening...and she cuddled beside her mother after a long long time. It was cold. Mom and daughter cuddled on the bed till it was dinner time. Call with bhai being over (where I was profusely complaining about the "mishap" about which he hardly had any clue - oh you told me is it? Sorry didi...I didn't register...) - what would you do with such a brother?

Dinner was good. It was fish cooked the way I like. দই মাছ। And then it was time for my lonely existence - before I'd fall asleep. The time I usually love most. And the time I dread most - once in a while...when life brings me to a weakened condition. And then came the waves...of realization after realization, washing over on the shore. And there's so much of gems spread everywhere (মণি মুক্ত হীরে জহরত) - and then there's my imagination, and my romance, with all that...can I miss somebody?

And then came piercing pain. Real piercing pain. I was fondly remembering Love Aaj Kaal and Sarkar Raaj, the black tea, the black coffee, and the normal tea...and from nowhere came that can of ice peach tea...and two ice cream cones. As if they are frozen in time. If you look at it, two of the three member team is still there, only I...am left with my time pocket. The first drops of tears came out. I begged...to be sent to that time pocket for a day or two...to be transported to that time...when despite everything going wrong...life was not so hopeless. Just then I didn't know what lies ahead.

I didn't have any notion...about the corpulent tears I am yet to shed. Oh D'bhai, he's so precious...why does he spread his broken pieces in the dust...like this? I wish I could protect him, could just cover up his precious bits by stretching myself - but I am not allowed.

Tears...অশ্রু :) I am shuttling between 2007-2008 and 2014 now.

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

অশ্রু নদীর সুদূর পারে - ঘাট দেখা যায় তোমার দ্বারে...

As was my habit from my Prague days, if I remember a রবীন্দ্রসঙ্গীত I have to do research on it. Hear two-three versions, in different voices, male, female, artists of different times and different genres. Yes I have a budgeted existence, but no...not this month please. I allow myself to use my data pack without inhibition. Music has come back to me after a long time...music which doesn't leave me, every other day, way he does.

Yes I liked some, didn't like other renderings. But my heart ached for something else. I couldn't remember the name of the movie. চিরদিনের? I guess not. The name is my favorite, after Ananya's elder sister...অদিতি - my mind groped around. Then suddenly I remembered - বিলম্বিত লয় - I have watched the movie hardly once, that too in childhood. But I remembered that the movie ends with this song. I found it in youtube...I watched the last of 12 clips. No...not the song...I was mistaken...only a hint of the tune...played through some instrument...flute? But the clip was beautiful...

And then she becomes naughty. D'bhai...when all is over...can I claim my candy please? Who knows if the candy too goes away. So...lady Sherlock in action (can't imagine Miss Marple doing things this stealthily) - and the candy is brought up. The candy...my cherished candy. And her entire face breaks into this enigmatic smile...no...D'bhai...I tell you...I still don't like my candy enough to claim it :) :)

If not...then what's the fight all about girl? I don't know...it is his problem...not mine. As much as I don't like my candy, I am sure he doesn't like his candy either. Aah, how does the story move from here then? Let's please not talk about the stupid movie called Sirf Tum which my boyfriend from college (the same "ask a question to the astrologer" guy) liked a lot, in fact had he not liked it that much, I'd have never brought myself up to watch the movie. And let's not talk about movies, already my mind is meandering to Badal, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai - day before I was frantically searching for a particular scene in Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam (in youtube - though I have the entire movie in my pen drive - data pack relaxation you see) and couldn't find it...but anyways patience is still my middle name...

Ok that should be it for today...bedtime...last glance...candy? Like it? Eyes lowered...

No comments: