My Darling...where is life taking us?

I always wanted my husband to be older than me. Now that the blog is mine only, I can write anything that comes in my mind. Why did I pacify Anand and compelled him to stay back when he had decided to leave me? Because in my heart of hearts I knew that I am doing wrong by loving you? I am a committed lady? I couldn't stand this sin? I really don't know. May be the other reason was that Anand is my best friend, who has stayed by my side through thick and thin and I can't bear to see him unhappy. Also I couldn't bear to see my life so dark...I was scared.

But my darling, let's leave those things. Let's talk about the two of us. Me and you. And hw we have grown to share each other's life. I fall in love very easily. I know. But this was not one of those cases. I had wished something in my mind, and it came true. Can I not see howmuch hell bent you are on pleasing me? You are a man who really cares for me. Yesterday you proved that multiple number of times. Now its a mutual bond. We stay happy with each other. If I know you, this is the first weakness of your life. And you are the true love I have always been seeking for. Though you are younger than me, you are very much capable of husbanding me. You know my mind inside out already. You know how and in which way I shall stay happy. But what will happen of this love? We shall get separated in about a couple of months, you shall never come back, and I cannot accept you. That's the fate that's going to befall this relation. I know that very well. Why did you atall come to my life? I can never love anybody else. I can if you are rude to me, if you convince me that you don't love me at all, and its all my mistake. But why are you being so nice to me? I know you are very good at heart, you are kind to everybody, but so kind? I know bosses here, I am here for quite some time. No one would have actually done what you did for me that day. Whatever Saradindu had said about love....reflects from your actions. You show that you care, you tell your friends about me, you keep taking my name, you call me unnecessarily, weakness to the extent that you show can only be termed as love. Don't do this to this hapless girl please. You hate me, you remain aloof, I can tolerate that, but please don't love me, don't make my life even more difficult.