The first half an hour was traumatizing. I hoped and prayed and cried. Some things still manages to disturb my balance. Like, if my student doesn't call me on teacher's day. Or if my (lady) best friend doesn't call me just as it turns midnight and indicates 20th December. I apparently hate Facebook but in my desperation I just thought maybe someone will see the notification and wish? Someone, anyone - just so that I feel better? But there was no one. I kept listening to "tum saath ho" from Tamasha and kept shedding silent tears. I told myself that I am a selfish girl and often overlook birthdays, there's nobody except my brother whom I call at midnight and wish happy birthday, that too not every year. I thought back and probably could recollect some other instances, but every time I had to make an effort to remember and wish other people on their birthdays. Apart from my immediate family the only birthdays I don't have to make a conscious effort to remember are...what? 3/4? And I hardly wish any of these people, haven't wished them for ages now. For some of them I don't even care, for some I celebrate in my mind. But I am sure there's no one who celebrates my birthday in their mind.
Forget it, the office people did come and sang the birthday song and gave me a couple of gifts on the 18th itself. Mechanical though it was, it was still a pleasant surprise. I need a warm bath and then I'd simply go to sleep. For a hundredth time I wish that there was no 20th December, there should be simply the 19th and then the 21st.
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