Friday, June 28, 2013

The turtle tried, and failed...

http://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Chinese_Stories/The_frog_of_the_well

I really don't look forward to the next few months, but what the hell, just bring it on...ok, I wholeheartedly accept Boo's statement, that I cannot change people. At least not people from his God damned company (which happens to be my employer also at present, but yes, what the hell, I am foul mouthing against it, and would have done that even if I hadn't been in notice period). Thing is, if anything personifies the "frog in the well" adage, this place does. People here are narrow minded, lack imagination and  empathy and are blind to the extreme extent about reality (Reality, WHO?). And yes, in general all of them, and specially the veterans suffer from "I am always right" syndrome, even when probably they are all set to destroy their lives' prospects by means of their follies. And yes, obviously this is followed by "the other person is always wrong" syndrome too. As an add on, it is never, "ok, you have a point here" - it is always, "if you don't agree with me, just get lost".

Why am I being so angry? Not for any external reason, purely for my own stupidity. I had resigned on 26th of April, I'd have been released by now. It was my foolishness that I agreed to stay back and complete this project. As it is, there is hardly any chance that project will get completed by the time I leave, because there are no resources in the team and then there is no visibility about client intentions. In between, I am stuck up like a crazy idiot, I have to go everyday to that friendless place where I am thoroughly lonely and totally unwanted and misunderstood. But yes, I knew what I am signing up for, and fine, I am ok about it. Dear God, I accept that I needed to learn a lot of lessons in life, and I am open minded about learning those, but please don't expect me to teach anything to anyone anymore. I have lost heart - I cannot try and change non receptive people, and I cannot bother for them and do away with my own peace of mind.

And yes, I am being angry for one more small reason, I had been grateful to a girl and her family for the way they had taken care of me in my crisis period, and I had blindly loved the girl like my little sister and wanted to give her the happiness I'd never be able to get for myself. But then, once again Boo is correct, 2 weeks or 2 months are not enough to know a person, a lifetime isn't sufficient at times. God helps those who help themselves sounds like an understatement now, God and intelligent human beings should not even try to help those who don't know how to help themselves. They should just be left to their stubbornness.

Well, all I can say is my life is in a state which you reach when you have just eaten some pretty yummy looking stuff, only to discover it has equally opposite kinda taste. Shit man, 3 more months of career and learning seemed fun, but in this hellhole???

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