You wanted this life, didn't you?
You planned for this only, right? This is just a prelude, what they call trailer. You wanted to make this a forever story...
You say your heart is bleeding? Why? Why on earth? What is new to you? Haven't you been ditched earlier? You have seen your lovers getting married, and he has only stopped talking. How does that affect you?
You have been eagerly waiting for this to happen. Oh it is my only bliss, I'd go back to my hometown and detach myself from him. Only because he has initiated it, it hurts so much is it?
This is how you wanted to live for the rest of your life, away from him, not even knowing if he is alive or dead, or letting him know if you are alive or dead. Only because it has started a couple of weeks earlier than necessary, is that why it hurts? You mean to say you are not prepared yet?
Apart from the first couple of months, when has he ever loved you? You have only been begging and giving this relationship a false sustenance. He doesn't want you. He prefers his cocooned existence. Why don't you try to understand?
Why does you heart pine away for him? He should also mean nothing to you. He's certainly not a friend. And there is no proof of him being your lover too. You should let him go. You should respect a man's choice.
Does it hurt you to realize that you are once again alone and abandoned in this wide world? Do you get afraid to spend the remaining 12 working days, in his proximity? Or rather in full realization of his rejection and hatred? What is it that is bothering you?
I don't know. I prepare myself for this existence, as they prepare a dead body for its funeral. In some remote corner of my mind, some faint voice tells me, God is there...he will take care. But I don't quite trust that voice. With waning strength, I pray to God, asking Him for his happiness, as I am quite quite sure now, that I was not born to be happy. And I was not born to be loved.
He asked me not to contact him for heaven's sake. I don't need heaven. I am ok with hell. Still, I don't contact him. I know I have lost the right. My nails make red marks on my own hand, I wish I could tie them and not reach for the phone. Yes, I have never loved anyone to this extent. No, the consequence doesn't change for that reason.
You planned for this only, right? This is just a prelude, what they call trailer. You wanted to make this a forever story...
You say your heart is bleeding? Why? Why on earth? What is new to you? Haven't you been ditched earlier? You have seen your lovers getting married, and he has only stopped talking. How does that affect you?
You have been eagerly waiting for this to happen. Oh it is my only bliss, I'd go back to my hometown and detach myself from him. Only because he has initiated it, it hurts so much is it?
This is how you wanted to live for the rest of your life, away from him, not even knowing if he is alive or dead, or letting him know if you are alive or dead. Only because it has started a couple of weeks earlier than necessary, is that why it hurts? You mean to say you are not prepared yet?
Apart from the first couple of months, when has he ever loved you? You have only been begging and giving this relationship a false sustenance. He doesn't want you. He prefers his cocooned existence. Why don't you try to understand?
Why does you heart pine away for him? He should also mean nothing to you. He's certainly not a friend. And there is no proof of him being your lover too. You should let him go. You should respect a man's choice.
Does it hurt you to realize that you are once again alone and abandoned in this wide world? Do you get afraid to spend the remaining 12 working days, in his proximity? Or rather in full realization of his rejection and hatred? What is it that is bothering you?
I don't know. I prepare myself for this existence, as they prepare a dead body for its funeral. In some remote corner of my mind, some faint voice tells me, God is there...he will take care. But I don't quite trust that voice. With waning strength, I pray to God, asking Him for his happiness, as I am quite quite sure now, that I was not born to be happy. And I was not born to be loved.
He asked me not to contact him for heaven's sake. I don't need heaven. I am ok with hell. Still, I don't contact him. I know I have lost the right. My nails make red marks on my own hand, I wish I could tie them and not reach for the phone. Yes, I have never loved anyone to this extent. No, the consequence doesn't change for that reason.
No comments:
Post a Comment