It's been raining since the last two days. Just a drizzle, when is winter rain a threat? Because I need to get the rust proof coating done to my car, had it been a threat. I am procrastinating...but I am getting back in shape.
With a lot of effort, I finished the last book I got free from Amazon. It is a nice social novel called "Reclaim My Heart". And I just can't get beyond round 201 in Candy Crush. And I listen to music regularly. In the evening I went out to my মামার বাড়ি where I had an invitation for some religious ceremony, and heard few beautiful songs all sung by friends and family and neighbors, mostly devotional or রবীন্দ্রসঙ্গীত...
In between, I had an amazing Chinese lunch from Hatari and slept for a bit. I like this demure, dreamy, lilting weather when the sun hardly comes out. I feel comfortable and lazy, feel like stretching out - being a winter child, this weather looks perfect for me. So I tried to just close my eyes and rest for a while, and...how do I ever explain the warmth, the honey like heat that seared through me. I literally felt like...banging my head on the wall - to tell in ancient Bengali, মাথা কুটে মরতে ইচ্ছে হলো...way the old world writers used to write about their heroines. There was this turn ons and turn offs in Orkut, and I was teased once - that my turn offs are more than my turn ons. So, lying, bossing, boasting, idiocy were my turn offs. And there were only two turn ons - intelligence and candlelight. Sigh - I wish I knew what is the cause of this inexplicable physical storm (you see arousal just might be an understatement)...
I don't like things which are beyond logic. I have been a science student, an engineer...yes, I have imagination, but well...imagination hasn't been able to create such vivid sensations in my life till date. And what practically knocks me over is, I feel perfectly pure with these feelings, I don't feel a bit of guilt as I sit down for the puja...and as my mind wonders to the simple wish I get every time I listen to good music.
And it is terribly personal. I remember Veera in the last few scenes in Highway, before Mahavir is shot dead. The way she would clean the house and cook and won't even let him enter her place, before it was ready. I feel that protective. It is still not their world, it is her world. Similarly it is my world. The other person, who is driving me crazy with his presence, is still so virtual, he belongs only to me. I told you I cannot explain, I don't know why I am even trying.
D'bhai, you remember, I used to talk about my own room, decorated with a vase full of flowers, neat, clean, organized - way it has never been? I can almost feel I am finally living in that room. And I wonder (no I mean it, I really wonder) - why of all things, I had to pick up this particular ring and start wearing it in my ring finger :D :D
Rest D'bhai, I know that dreams don't come true...
Something else...you remember that story I had written about the guy I used to meet in the bus? For that story writing competition? God knows where those stories went. But I happened to see a photo of that guy, with his wife. They could well give, you know the erstwhile Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, some complex. And look at us?
With a lot of effort, I finished the last book I got free from Amazon. It is a nice social novel called "Reclaim My Heart". And I just can't get beyond round 201 in Candy Crush. And I listen to music regularly. In the evening I went out to my মামার বাড়ি where I had an invitation for some religious ceremony, and heard few beautiful songs all sung by friends and family and neighbors, mostly devotional or রবীন্দ্রসঙ্গীত...
In between, I had an amazing Chinese lunch from Hatari and slept for a bit. I like this demure, dreamy, lilting weather when the sun hardly comes out. I feel comfortable and lazy, feel like stretching out - being a winter child, this weather looks perfect for me. So I tried to just close my eyes and rest for a while, and...how do I ever explain the warmth, the honey like heat that seared through me. I literally felt like...banging my head on the wall - to tell in ancient Bengali, মাথা কুটে মরতে ইচ্ছে হলো...way the old world writers used to write about their heroines. There was this turn ons and turn offs in Orkut, and I was teased once - that my turn offs are more than my turn ons. So, lying, bossing, boasting, idiocy were my turn offs. And there were only two turn ons - intelligence and candlelight. Sigh - I wish I knew what is the cause of this inexplicable physical storm (you see arousal just might be an understatement)...
I don't like things which are beyond logic. I have been a science student, an engineer...yes, I have imagination, but well...imagination hasn't been able to create such vivid sensations in my life till date. And what practically knocks me over is, I feel perfectly pure with these feelings, I don't feel a bit of guilt as I sit down for the puja...and as my mind wonders to the simple wish I get every time I listen to good music.
And it is terribly personal. I remember Veera in the last few scenes in Highway, before Mahavir is shot dead. The way she would clean the house and cook and won't even let him enter her place, before it was ready. I feel that protective. It is still not their world, it is her world. Similarly it is my world. The other person, who is driving me crazy with his presence, is still so virtual, he belongs only to me. I told you I cannot explain, I don't know why I am even trying.
D'bhai, you remember, I used to talk about my own room, decorated with a vase full of flowers, neat, clean, organized - way it has never been? I can almost feel I am finally living in that room. And I wonder (no I mean it, I really wonder) - why of all things, I had to pick up this particular ring and start wearing it in my ring finger :D :D
Rest D'bhai, I know that dreams don't come true...
Something else...you remember that story I had written about the guy I used to meet in the bus? For that story writing competition? God knows where those stories went. But I happened to see a photo of that guy, with his wife. They could well give, you know the erstwhile Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, some complex. And look at us?
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