I have realized something. I love cheese. Every time I come onsite I live on cheese literally. In Prague it was this Mascarpone thingy, here it is one particular type I am having from my last visit in Bahrain. Licking on a spoonful of cheese gives me the ultimate pleasure, even much much more than having ice cream. This reminds me, I can make some ice cream at home. Can use up the sugar also that way.
Did you just mumble under your breath that I am fat and greedy? Doesn't help. I am well aware of my vices. This is my last onsite after all. If I don't indulge myself now, when do I do that?
I was a 100 times thankful that I didn't write when I actually wanted to write. It was a huge emotional turmoil - and a lot of drama, more drama than I could imagine. And once again I was fooled by him, I literally felt that may be vestiges of that love still remains within him. After the drama and all, after he had left the office, I cried a lot. I even tried to turn to my so called friend so as to heal the immense wound. Yes she was there for the time being, but soon enough I realized that there's no point trying this. Our friendship is lost forever. So again I cocooned up.
So what exactly happened? Ha ha, who doesn't want spice in life, nahi? When you are separating from your once upon a time lover forever, the farewell story is usually plenty of spice, and people like it - else Bollywood movies wouldn't have been such big hits. But only in my case, I have not felt like speaking to him in quite a long time. So, just when it is time for him to leave office, last day mail and all having been sent, this guy walks up to my desk and maintains a foot of distance and starts talking. He introduces himself. "Hi, I am so-n-so, today is my last day in so-n-so, so just wanted to say thank you." The same way he had walked up to my desk and introduced himself some 3 years back. I remained silent for a while, then couldn't take it anymore. Just blurted out in frustration, "why do you need to do this?". He got his golden chance, the foot became a couple of inches, and after a while of playing around with the things on my desk, he extended his precious hand for a handshake. Don't get me wrong, but for a while I lost my mind. I gave him my hand, he shook it and walked away. In a choking voice I said, "take care...". Without turning back, he said, "Sure, you too."
That night, and a few more days that followed, I could genuinely love him once again. Way I use to curse myself for choosing a non deserving person, and letting him ruin my life, was gone for a bit. The softer emotions returned. Till he posted the Taj photos in Facebook.
No, this time I didn't feel the pangs of envy that I usually feel. Instead I laughed aloud in pure relief. He is dead. Nothing, that belonged to the person I had loved, is a part of him anymore. He has lost his looks, his dressing sense, his poise, his confidence. It is just merely a pretension that envelopes him these days. I literally was having pity on him. Ugliness defines him and his surroundings these days. He got left nothing beautiful about him.
Grape is sour syndrome? It came to my mind as well. But still I couldn't stop congratulating myself for having avoided getting associated with such a person. After all, I am a worshiper of beauty, have been so forever in life. Just realized that when you do away with truth, all your beauty goes naturally.
So last onsite - some 10 more days. And then independence. I will survive I guess. So long then...
Did you just mumble under your breath that I am fat and greedy? Doesn't help. I am well aware of my vices. This is my last onsite after all. If I don't indulge myself now, when do I do that?
I was a 100 times thankful that I didn't write when I actually wanted to write. It was a huge emotional turmoil - and a lot of drama, more drama than I could imagine. And once again I was fooled by him, I literally felt that may be vestiges of that love still remains within him. After the drama and all, after he had left the office, I cried a lot. I even tried to turn to my so called friend so as to heal the immense wound. Yes she was there for the time being, but soon enough I realized that there's no point trying this. Our friendship is lost forever. So again I cocooned up.
So what exactly happened? Ha ha, who doesn't want spice in life, nahi? When you are separating from your once upon a time lover forever, the farewell story is usually plenty of spice, and people like it - else Bollywood movies wouldn't have been such big hits. But only in my case, I have not felt like speaking to him in quite a long time. So, just when it is time for him to leave office, last day mail and all having been sent, this guy walks up to my desk and maintains a foot of distance and starts talking. He introduces himself. "Hi, I am so-n-so, today is my last day in so-n-so, so just wanted to say thank you." The same way he had walked up to my desk and introduced himself some 3 years back. I remained silent for a while, then couldn't take it anymore. Just blurted out in frustration, "why do you need to do this?". He got his golden chance, the foot became a couple of inches, and after a while of playing around with the things on my desk, he extended his precious hand for a handshake. Don't get me wrong, but for a while I lost my mind. I gave him my hand, he shook it and walked away. In a choking voice I said, "take care...". Without turning back, he said, "Sure, you too."
That night, and a few more days that followed, I could genuinely love him once again. Way I use to curse myself for choosing a non deserving person, and letting him ruin my life, was gone for a bit. The softer emotions returned. Till he posted the Taj photos in Facebook.
No, this time I didn't feel the pangs of envy that I usually feel. Instead I laughed aloud in pure relief. He is dead. Nothing, that belonged to the person I had loved, is a part of him anymore. He has lost his looks, his dressing sense, his poise, his confidence. It is just merely a pretension that envelopes him these days. I literally was having pity on him. Ugliness defines him and his surroundings these days. He got left nothing beautiful about him.
Grape is sour syndrome? It came to my mind as well. But still I couldn't stop congratulating myself for having avoided getting associated with such a person. After all, I am a worshiper of beauty, have been so forever in life. Just realized that when you do away with truth, all your beauty goes naturally.
So last onsite - some 10 more days. And then independence. I will survive I guess. So long then...
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