Friday, September 27, 2013

Life and its lessons...

The last couple of days have been trying and exhausting, if nothing else. Jet lag and the confusion and mismanagement at Mumbai airport apart, I was quite quite shaken by meeting this lady who had lost her mother and was flying back to Bangalore for the last rites. I tried to just comfort her in whatever way I could, but her agony and blankness gave me such a turmoil...I am still thinking about her and praying for her. She kept on saying that I was like an angel who came to give her strength, even now she messaged me on Facebook and said the same thing - but how can I tell her that perhaps she has acted as the real angel - who removed my last bit of doubt about my decision of leaving everything and going home. Perhaps it was God's own way of telling me that I was doing right.

Anyways now the news is spilled to the client also, so the things are kind of closed. And I had kind of come to a decision, when I could think a lot during the last couple of weeks stay in Bahrain. There is no point torturing myself in a place that badly hurts my ego. Finally you know, I have come to terms with the give and take policy of the world, i.e. I have learnt not to be a slave anymore. Not to keep giving when I get nothing. I know my world will become empty without my job, I will be a very pensive girl, but fact remains that I am equally unhappy now as well - so why not walk a different path? And I have realized something more - when you have adequate perseverance, every bad thing finally comes to an end - it was a very big mistake to force myself to stay on in this place for so long - and since last July it has been absolutely choking. Thank God it is going to end up soon.

The last day in Bahrain was fun though. I finally came out of my budgeted existence and did a lot of shopping. As I shopped for the four most important people of my life (dad, mom, bro and gran) - I couldn't but remember the fifth person. Bahrain, and this flight itinerary always reminds me of him. Can't really believe that just a year back we used to coexist in such a harmonious way, being integral part of each other's life - even now there are people in the office who fondly remember him and tell me, you and he were two real friends I got in this office. There must be something good about him that people talk about him in this way? I try not to have anything to do with my Boo - but then, I still don't get the answer to why he had to play with my life and my emotions, when he knew that I was already as hurt as someone could be in love, and that he won't really be able to make any difference? I am a girl who has seen things escaping from her every now and then, I felt I'd die without my bossie, I live, I have seen death of some of my most favorite people on earth, I live, I saw my Boo walk out of the same office where we had met for the first time, I knew I will never meet him again, I live - come what may, I will live. I know I am being delirious now, but just remembered watching Hector die in the movie Troy - so what, does anyone respect him any less because he lost a duel and died?

No comments: