As usual I was wondering what to do with life. And as usual...I don't have a clue. Perhaps the visit to home will help. The funny thing is...something new is there what scares me off. There is this tumor kinda thing I was having for a long time on my tummy, and which I have been ignoring, but recently it has started paining there. I like ignoring my ailments. I hardly remember I am asthmatic. When I had that terrible back pain a week ago, I went out for the whole day, and there was no way anyone could find out how I am feeling, except the occasional wince which I was trying my best to hide. But this one freaked me out. I somehow felt (no idea why) that this might be fatal. I tried my best ignoring it, all day yesterday. Then night I blurted it out to mom. Today I told a friend in the office. And also to Bee. And finally to Boo. But then...the only way out is to see a doctor. Let us see. I don't really want to die at this moment. Though from this situation, life can take turn towards just a mere bleak existence...there are chances for that...still I seem not to be afraid. I seem to long for life. That guy (who by the way is wearing a pink shirt today) is the main reason. He seems to be an honest, John Galt-ish person. Though I am not and will never be a Dagny Taggart, I like him. I don't want to die now. I want to live with him. For a life time :)
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