Monday, August 27, 2012

5 years...

Last to last Saturday morning I woke up and casually checked my mobile...for sms's from Boo. I was at my hometown. He had gone over to his hometown as well, because his granny had passed away. It was a casual glance I gave at the mobile and realized...it's 18th August. How uneventful a 18th August has become for me. Is this what happens when the person you love gets distant? Ya the doctor did declare me cured, and I did watch a very nice movie in theater with my parents, but apart from that...where was that excitement that I felt even on 18th August last year? Where was the art work, poems which I usually manage to do for him? Just a consciousness. Yes it is 18th August.

Almost same thing happened for 26th August too. Was this the date when 5 years back I chose to screw up my life? There was no way of knowing that I might have any repentance from the way I behaved yesterday. I was happy, in a jovial mood. Did shopping and met up with friends. Frankly speaking I am scared to be this happy. Happiness is not a thing that agrees with my system well. Yes I am a bit apprehensive and unsure but that is the maximum negativity I am having in my mind. Otherwise I am happy and that's what is troubling me.

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