My Boo Boo...

At times...I feel as if I have to write...nothing but bringing my heart out will give me peace...
There are days when things just keep happening. You do not have a control on them. Today was one of those days. In fact it started from last night. I logged in gmail, and saw him online...err sorry...busy. I kept doing the essential work, trying to ignore the fact that in few minutes it will be me who'll ping him, for he never can care to ping me. And then...I find him pinging...

I shall quote just the first 4 lines of our chat...

he: oh my god... i have to hide.. someone is online :)
me: ya plz I am pretending that I haven't seen u yet :)
he: who said the some one is you ? :)
me: its implicit

We haven't chatted like this for ages...way we were earlier...just friends...very good friends...best friends...

I was still confused, yet happy, when I woke up in the morning. Had lots of work...over that mom was sick. There was complete chaos in mind. Started working like that only...and things kind of fell in place. Some issues were resolved, some remain open...but still...most of them worked out well. I never knew work from home will be allowed so easily. I can stay home for 4 more days before I travel. These things were good. Ananya visited in the evening and I played with her daughter in the nearby park...that was awesome. I guess pent up is the word. I have left such a lot of things pent up within me. My emotions, my affections. My energy level, my convincing abilities. And today was a vent out day. At times things just have to fall in place, there is no other alternative.

Something left me seething with anger in the night. Here he is toiling away all day, and there his so called friends are busy making fun of him in Facebook. Arre leave him alone, how much do you guys know about him? Isn't this absolutely unjust, that people turn out to be this harmful and this heartless. Arre if you want to have fun, do it at your own expense, why bring in someone else? Me and him...we are not privileged people. We had to earn, even fake the few smiles we have had on our face. Well, people needn't understand that, but they can just leave us alone, right?

I feel, in God's world everything is weighed correctly. Someday, we two shall have a blissful life, when these fun loving guys realize what pain means. Humor is good so long as it doesn't cross the limit. And how do you know when it crosses the limit? Well, why else did God make you a human, with a beating heart?

But amidst these thoughts, I realized something else too. I gathered just how much oneness I feel with him these days, that I am taking his personal things so very personally. Now, he definitely is a part of my small world...very much a part...