I am now 90% sure that death is approaching. Try as I might, I won't be able to survive. I don't want to create pressure on him, I want him to be happy. But at the same time, I can predict my fate also. I just won't be able to handle it this time. I am not a sand bag that I can handle these many blows. If the trust breaks this time, that would be the end of me.
I guess it is also part of destiny that as I collapse, I finally make a laughing stock out of myself. I will fail miserably in my work - if what I am dreading finally happens. God, I won't be able to take it. Don't do this to me.
I don't know how to console myself. I am crying incessantly. I just can't stop crying. Why this had to happen. I probably could have survived in my loneliness, but after being with him, if I am to lose him, I won't be able to survive.
I can not be patient in these circumstances. I have seen evil happening to me, time and again. I can not trust him. Why am I being so weak? Just this Sunday, we were becoming closer than ever, all the while as he traveled, we kept talking through sms's. What happened all of a sudden? Will things become normal ever again?
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