Have you ever experienced happiness that doesn't quite touch you? I have. It is like admitting, well I am happy, but this is very very transient. It doesn't quite belong to me.
Wisdom dawned on me, sometime last week, when I was locking my door before heading for office. I got convinced about 3 things -
1. I should act my age, and know that miracles don't happen.
2. If a problem is at bay for the time being, doesn't atall means it's gone forever.
3. In today's life one has to be practical, not romantic n dreamy.
Since then happiness has taken leave. I am not myself, for what am I without my bubble of dreams? It's like, I am sitting back and observing a girl, trying to live life, without much (actually any) provision. The girl is a little crazy, and I am very very fond of her. I don't want her to choose this life, but I don't have another option too.
Aah, I have told him somany times in my mind, if you come late, somuch damage would have been done, that you won't be able to put things right. I guess it's too late now. The lifelessness is quite obvious. So is the helplessness. I never wanted to become like this. I never wanted to be pitied. As they say, self pity is a disastrous thing.
First time in my life, I was tired to try on the new dresses, I haven't yet looked back at the new shoe. I was hardly happy. Even watching Harry Potter was just another movie watching. The joy is somehow totally gone. How is it that being practical is so taxing for me, but not for you?
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