D'bhai, shall I write what's on my mind, unhindered? I have never ever been at such a total loss. It breaks my heart D'bhai, I simply can't take it anymore. This silent treatment of his kills me.
I wanted to mock at him. For having been in two minds. Or perhaps I wanted to break his silence. Let him come up with an explanation. Give him a chance to write back to me. I never ever wanted him to obey me silently. It was as if he was just showing me pity. I become this অভিমানী girl, ঠোঁট ফুলানো girl, who's so upset that she feels like never talking with him ever again.
I am reading this book these days, called Burial Rites. It is depressing and comforting at the same time. I don't want to live long D'bhai. I don't have much more left in life. He could have tried to be my friend no? I so long for a friend. What's the point in being my silent admirer? I so need to talk to a like-minded person.
And D'bhai, frankly, give me a Durga Puja without Bijoya Dashami. It is so not my day. Even as a child I could never understand the festivities around bidding someone good bye. After accompanying my grandma on her last journey and doing the rituals with my own hands, I don't really feel like saying goodbye again. And the সিঁদুর খেলা irritates more. Faces smeared with vermillion can be such a torture to one who has dreamed of getting married since her childhood. People pitying me or saying that by next year the magic will surely happen, makes me even more weary. I don't want to live D'bhai, I really don't.
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