Every night I try to watch a movie and every night I fail. I can't watch new movies. It seems too strenuous. Romantic movies - may be I could watch. But not serious movies. I don't have adequate strength of mind to watch them. I am half scared of taking more tension or watching people suffer.
Same with story books. I can't concentrate. Just think - my favorite past time has now become a thing of past.
What do I do in my leisure time then? Browse Facebook. Yeah, the much dreaded FB. Just to know what he's reading...I get familiar to everything happening in everybody's life (except for the 6-7 people I have managed to block). Don't think I am in love with him. No, I am not. It just feels blissful to read things he likes. He's got a quaint sense of humor - I find myself laughing.
I have noticed something. Whenever I feel terribly bored, I happen to think mostly about three things...
1. বহু যুগের ওপার হতে - and the character of উল্কা in it, particularly the scene where she sings তুমি এলে না
2. When was the last time you did something for the first time - my bossie's tagline
3. Following my bliss - Namesake (I don't remember the story, just the phrase, and if I remember any story vividly - that's almost always Hema and Kaushik from Unaccustomed Earth)
My whole life seems meaningless today. How long can I fuel my life with madness alone, when there's nothing concrete...
I did tell Ananya that day that sleeping provides a good respite from depression - when you sleep you don't feel anything...but no...even that's not easy to practice.
No comments:
Post a Comment