Right when I thought that this day couldn't get any worse, I
was in for a rude shock. A certain pervert chose to take his seat beside me (although
it was a ladies’ seat – and that kinda alerted me right away). Guy had really chosen the wrong person to victimize.
For a while I kept silent (as I have done on numerous occasions before)
thinking that may be it is I who is interpreting the situation wrongly, surely
a person can’t be this mean. But the silent fury boiling already inside me, got
the better of my patient and peace-loving nature in no time. I thrashed the
person left and right with scathing words, my temper soaring up all the while. I didn't care
anymore that I am creating a scene in the bus, that my gossipy neighbors (who
happen to work in support function in the same place as me and takes the same
bus at the same time) are listening in – and soon enough this will be major
news in our locality. I didn't even spare the conductor and (can you imagine)
spoke to him in English. The apparent gentleness of my mother tongue wouldn't
come in handy in such a situation anyways, but what I failed to realize is the
average conductor in Kolkata doesn't understand the foreign language too well.
Still, the impact was quite strange. Ever seen a balloon getting deflated? The
culprit rose up with a huge bag (with which he was attempting to hide his
misdeed till now) and stood there mumbling to the conductor (who was hissing
questions at him at a subdued voice but otherwise looked terribly offended – as
if he couldn’t imagine that such an incident has been pointed out during his duty
hours) – and there was this eerie lull in the bus, as if people are silently
praying that they can run away from the situation. Nobody can take the head on
truth about how the society is decaying under their very nose, only because
they chose to look away and remain cozily shielded in their shells. I was
fuming as I got down from the bus and walked back home. I felt contaminated. Mom
feebly tried to tell me not to put the clothes which I had worn today for
washing – she said I can wear them one more day, but I didn't pay heed. I
needed them to be washed, as if that would free me from the dirt and horror of
the incident. Of course I couldn't tell my parents and cause them stress, but I
really had a good mind to do that, they won’t be so sure about not buying a car
if they would know what I have to face for the lack of a personal vehicle. But
then, is that a solution? What about the millions of girls who are not as lucky
as me – who can’t afford such luxury even if they want? Oh why is the entire
place simply going to the dogs (I apologize to the dog community – be sure that
this is just a figure of speech, I am well aware of how far superior a dog is
than an average spineless human), and nobody cares to do anything about it?
I would have simply died if my blog was not there. Had I
kept so much anger pent up, I am sure by now I’d get a stroke or something. But
venting it out doesn't seem enough. I have to stop people from turning a blind
eye about the state of affairs that the whole of world is succumbing to.
Once again, I wish I had someone senior to whom I could talk
and seek advice. And I need a friend, not a virtual friend, a real friend whom
I can touch in person and be assured, I have somebody to lean on to, when I am
too tired. I feel very lonely today, ever so much more than I have felt all these
years. What with people whom you thought you knew turning out to be chameleons, and then with all kinds of depressing news of war, crime and murder, every single service provider, politician and businessman out there to cheat you by hook or by crook, the fellow citizens with absolute lack of etiquette (they spit, they smoke, they abuse - as if that is the most natural thing to do), let alone chivalry - chivalry seems to be a non existent term in the modern day society, it is more demoniacal than knightly...I really feel once again like retreating to the corner of my room. I guess it is far better to be insensitive than getting so terribly hurt only because you still have feelings left inside you. You cannot react against a wall, can you? Your emotions and energy simply go for a waste...
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