Sunday, June 22, 2014

A mixed bag of thoughts...

Well, life’s strange. The main reason behind it is that emotions change based on circumstances. I can give you three examples right away.

The love I felt for my city, Kolkata, keeps fluctuating. When I came here, the positive emotions were strong enough. The biggest one was, it is my city, I will be more at home here. I can delve into my own culture, of which I am so proud. But then you know what, the vision from the rose tinted glasses faded away. Yes, the movie theatre is walking distance, but the heat won’t allow you to walk up to there. It was terrible when I was idle, I won’t venture out, out of sheer depression, and now I can’t think of leisure because of work pressure. Dad might well have done French classes after office, I don’t even know the way to Alliance Francaise. And the city is seriously lacking in public transport and security. I was finally forced to put away my gold chain as there were so many warning signs. And if I was ever fond of any jewellery, that was my gold chain. I asked mom to order it on the day I first visited Boo’s hostel room, I mean it was all coincidental, I had just boarded the auto with apples and dry food and two flasks (he said he was feeling sick and needs hot water to drink – I decided to buy one flask for hot water and another for tea or milk) and mom called from the jewellery shop and asked me about my preferences, I remember telling her that I want a ball chain like Pupe used to wear in “Gaaner Opare” – that afternoon’s fond memory is still etched in my mind – given an option, I’d have never taken it off.  And wait, did I talk of culture? Trust me, I haven’t seen more uncultured and uncivilized people around. They simply love spitting and smoking in public places. Even professors smoke during meetings. Even drivers of public buses smoke while driving. Surely I have never seen such utter lawlessness.

The love that I feel for my parents and gran also keep fluctuating. Dad shouldn’t have been a family person. He is this gentleman who is driven by his passions. His current passion being share trading, he’d little think of anything else. When I complained about the foam covering of the AC copper wire being eaten away by birds, he was like – if you were married at the right age, you’d have couple of children to take care of right now, at least learn not to depend on your dad. Whatever truth might be in that statement, it hurt badly. Mom is ever so critical of me and my ways. I don’t have a moment’s independence. If I spend my time reading story books or simply day dreaming, she’d complain that I came back for nothing, I am not of any help. If the telephone is not working, and I file a docket, and still the issue is not solved, she is 100% sure that it is my fault somehow, I must have done some mistake in communicating the problem. And gran is a rather harmless person, but still, she does seem very insensitive when I am running late and about to rush to office, and she’d order me to close her windows or give her toothpaste or bring her walker. Don’t get me wrong, the situation is never so bad that I cannot coexist with them, but at times I do gasp for some freedom, and crave about being left alone. Worse of all, there is not outside food to be eaten man, and how I miss that. They refuse to eat junk, and I don’t feel like eating alone. Likewise, they refuse to spend money on movies (and the energy to get ready and walk up to the multiplex) as it would anyways be shown on the TV in a month or two, and the last thing I want to do is watching a movie alone (except that Aparna Sen movie, Iti Mrinalini, I doubt if I have ever watched anything else all by myself).

And you know how extremely I fret when my periods are late. Given that you’d laugh if you’d know the reason I’m fretting now. I don’t have spare sanitary pads and I almost wish my periods hadn’t started. It has always been a terrible ordeal for me to go out and buy them. Most shops are run by men, and me being this epitome of shyness, I just can’t bring myself up to tell them exactly what I need. Bangalore was different. I knew couple of medicine shops where ladies would be there at the counter. I am sure I will spend a sleepless night today because I have to buy the thing tomorrow, there is no way I can defer it. Oh where do I go, what do I do???

I don’t like to keep things pending. But the problem is I am very lazy and I love indulging my laziness. My bank account for this new job is not yet open, and it’s almost month end. My car is not yet booked, and it is already raining heavily every day, I really wish my parents wouldn't be so terribly opposed to this very idea of getting a car for us, they and their middle class mentality. I keep deferring the calls I intend to make, thus putting on stake the relationships I had developed, the relationships that I intended to maintain – everything gets lost in the effort of sticking to my preset budget for each of the two numbers (it is a complicated calculation that takes into account the billing cycle and the free units of the postpaid one and the next recharge date of the prepaid one). Not that I am proud of this unplanned life and to tell the truth I hate the miserly ways I have gotten accustomed to in this long period of being jobless... I want things to be on track, I want to be the old spendthrift me, but like I said, moods vary, circumstances change, and I simply don’t feel like scolding myself.

I can’t say how thankful I am to the people who all the same care for this self-pampered brat. My university senior, who has been the only person who helped me in reviving my career – I was heartless to have demanded money for the previous project from him, in that unnecessarily stern manner (well, it was his problem that he kept deferring the payment), still he seems not to mind and in fact shares his problems and frustrations with me, my professor, during whose paper I had walked out from the exam hall, yet who was instrumental in recommending me for this job and has almost half agreed to give me a problem statement for doing my PhD, my student, whom I asked to tell my roomies that I stayed with her when I actually spent my first Diwali in Bangalore with Anand, and yet she jumps with joy when I mention that I am planning to spend my next holiday with her, my colleague from my previous organization, with whom, I didn't even expect I’d be in talking terms after I left Bangalore, but who cares enough to have long chats with me almost every day and pours out her heart when she is frustrated with her attempts at arranged marriage (stupid guys are rejecting the proposal apparently because of some simple operation she has undergone, which she’s honest enough to mention – you know what, when they just say India is leading in atrocities against women, do they ever take into account this kind of mental agony girls have to face just because of a skewed up social structure where the man and his family always have the final word?) But then on the other hand, there are people whose dreams do come true. A guy came to see Bee, and she was like, I just hope I don’t have to sit in front of any other guy, it is so humiliating, I like this one…and then, the proposal is finalized and she is due to get engaged in July. Why, my dad also happened to be the first guy my mom met, but then, everyone is not so lucky na? It is a funny world, if the guy doesn’t like the girl, he can reject and move on. If the girl turns a guy down, it goes on to extreme cases where the girl might become an acid attack victim or may even get murdered. Frankly, I don’t understand men folks, period. Indian men, more so…


The only good thing I did in the past few days is to zero down on my research area. Somehow I feel it has got to be artificial intelligence. Because that’s the thing that is going to bring back human beings on track. We humans do not think enough, we don’t use half our intelligence. We run on our whims, and on status quo. So I have decided on the topic. Apart from that, I hardly know the subject. Well, still a long way to go…

To end with on a funny note, I had this senior in my first MNC who was very adept at winning brownie points. Even the smallest thing he’d do, he’d write out a group mail and boast about it in a very polished yet subdued way, i.e. he’d get the required attention but not in a very obvious way. I never knew that like a true Sagittarian, I have assimilated his style so well, but trust me…I have become quite well appreciated in this small time frame since I joined my new job. So this senior used to say, accolades and brickbats, all mine…well don’t know about the brickbats, it feels good to be mentioned in a very accolade-ish way in official communications :D :D

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