Apprehensions...

Africa...brings back myriads of memories. It used to be such a great feeling to be in the same timezone. Half my loneliness was gone by the very realization that he is awake and working and somewhere much nearer to me than rest of my loved ones. I remember the first aching realization of missing him. How I had finally managed to write the first mail to him. The initial chats on Facebook which I do not have (it didn't have the chat logging auto enabled that time)...then the first few chats on gtalk...the gradual strengthening of our bonding...what food, what work, what movies to watch in the evening, then bidding each other good night...he calling me Boo Boo for the first time...

All I have is apprehensions. I know it'd be too painful, but life has to move on. I know I can make a fool of myself at the client place...I am too weak - though I manage to have a shield round me...who knows better than me how fragile it is...

I don't know where God wants to take me. One colleague just suggested - when you are not getting married, why not travel around the world. Ya of course, as if I ran away from marriage...

I go back to the same place where from he had brought me the African tea planter, said it is him and asked me to take good care of him. I go there to mourn the fact that he never managed to take care of his Czech princess...never ever tried...