Well, all through this time, I had one constant wish...I wanna watch this movie. It all started with Rajeev Masand recommending Lawrence for the best actress Academy award, simply stating her portrayal of a girl in a complex love life is laudable. All through the weeks when I used to work till 8:30 or 9 in the night, I used to secretly check if it is still running in Forum, and used to secretly dream of running away early from office one evening and watching it, way I had watched Iti Mrinalini long back. But then, days would pass by and show time would change, but thankfully the movie stayed on. This time the show time changed to 4 PM. For a girl who couldn't make the 6:45 show, 4 PM looked like a joke. So, I simply and plainly decided to burn my money and watch it on a Sunday (tickets are double priced, but what the hell, I am a multi millionaire).
I will show off a bit here? These days I don't hesitate in spending money for things that give me comfort and reduces my frustration, e.g. movies, books and good food (I can always have the full plate of cheese pasta in Konark, never mind the price, quantity and calorie - it is the yummiest thing on earth, and to me that is all that matters). Well I don't exactly go for expensive clothes (what the hell, I am so beautiful, everything I wear looks nice on me by default) - on second thoughts, I have learnt to say no to tight fitting clothes, I don't exactly wear gunny bags, but something that flatters my plumpness. Moved permanently from L to XL and I am extremely pleased with the move. The tummy doesn't show, and since I am careful with the accessories and the color combination, the end result is usually good. Over that there is this Suchitra Sen like smile (albeit with a little yellowed teeth, you see - I have visited a dentist only once in this life time, and unlike my estranged boyfriend, I will never marry someone who earns a living by putting hands in other people's mouths - yuck yuck yuck). Well disclaimer to the dentists of the world, ignore the ramblings of the heartbroken girl, this is specifically meant for the singular lady dentist on earth whose own teeth can be a museum specimen, even the most magnificent tusked elephant would envy). I have no qualms about stating that I absolutely whole heartedly hate the girl with big teeth (almost sounds to me like big "the other thing" - but fortunately for me and unfortunately for him - that is not the case). She and her husband has any issue with this public statement here, please come and meet me in person so that I can abuse you guys further. Getting stuck with such an ugly girl for a life time is the biggest punishment he could get - and this I didn't say, my best friend Ananya said, I am just repeating here. Oh I will write something else here? I just loved the way his lady love (she was quite another psycho by the way) removed him from her friend list in Facebook. They had been friends till some days before his marriage. Whatever be the reason, I am happy that his most loved person slapped him - a very well deserved slap I must say. Why I didn't remove him? Why should I? I live to see if he'd be happy - I shall follow that all my life, I must know for myself if God decides to favor nasty human beings who take pleasure in ruining other people's lives, or if He is good enough to punish them.
Coming back to the movie, there is this line - Tiffany says, "I trusted you, I opened up to you - and you judged me". Know what this so called "love of my life" told during his confrontation with M? She said, "She is suffering, cries all the time, I think she doesn't deserve this". The beast says, "She was like this when I met her for the first time". Bloody AH, I wanted to shout, did I ask you to be my friend? Did I seek for your help, because I was like this when you met me? I was happy with my life, whatever turn it had taken. You had no right to pretend to be a friend and stab me on my already existing wound and waste two years of my life. I hate you for that. What exactly would have happened if Pat in the movie, had kissed Tiffany and then gone back to that Nikki lady? Ya it feels sad to admit, but my Boo Boo is indeed that kinda bastard.
The movie made me laugh hysterically. I know how it feels to belong to a crazy family, having crazy people around you, and still trying to be happy all the time. I am a girl who calls a spade a spade. I don't have many friends, but the ones I have, are enough for sustenance. I haven't harmed anyone knowingly. I don't mind other people being happy because my life is screwed up. I try to read, write, watch movies ranging from rom com to horror to what not, watch TV (earlier I didn't, but now seems to be a good time pass, I watch debates and award ceremonies all alike) and like it was important for Tiffany to just participate in the dance competition, it is important for me to keep my career going, because that is the only straw this sinking girl has, the only thing that isn't entirely spoiled yet. Yes, I don't dream anymore of a fairy tale romance, often my sexual desires get almost out of control and I have nothing to do about them except reading up some "safe" erotic sites, but I don't feel guilty about any of that. I don't feel guilty about the one mishap that overshadowed my life so long, thank God I don't have the baby to share my agonies, it is much better if he comes back in my better times, if he chooses to abandon me, may he be happy with the mum who replaces me. I am happy in my life, with all the faults in it. I don't wanna better myself, or worsen for that matter - I feel, continuing to fight this battle, everyday, even when you feel depleted, is all that matters. I don't seek a result, today is all I have, and however late I sleep, I must wake up and reach office in time, and finish my best practices document and go on to test the account opening module.
I regularly put nail polish these days, on both my hands and feet, just to add a bit of a color to my life. However much hectic the weekends be, I'd find time to repaint my nails, preferably with some new color. And I happen to enjoy every bit of that newly colored life, thank God once again that I got rid of my drab love story with a spineless creep.
I will show off a bit here? These days I don't hesitate in spending money for things that give me comfort and reduces my frustration, e.g. movies, books and good food (I can always have the full plate of cheese pasta in Konark, never mind the price, quantity and calorie - it is the yummiest thing on earth, and to me that is all that matters). Well I don't exactly go for expensive clothes (what the hell, I am so beautiful, everything I wear looks nice on me by default) - on second thoughts, I have learnt to say no to tight fitting clothes, I don't exactly wear gunny bags, but something that flatters my plumpness. Moved permanently from L to XL and I am extremely pleased with the move. The tummy doesn't show, and since I am careful with the accessories and the color combination, the end result is usually good. Over that there is this Suchitra Sen like smile (albeit with a little yellowed teeth, you see - I have visited a dentist only once in this life time, and unlike my estranged boyfriend, I will never marry someone who earns a living by putting hands in other people's mouths - yuck yuck yuck). Well disclaimer to the dentists of the world, ignore the ramblings of the heartbroken girl, this is specifically meant for the singular lady dentist on earth whose own teeth can be a museum specimen, even the most magnificent tusked elephant would envy). I have no qualms about stating that I absolutely whole heartedly hate the girl with big teeth (almost sounds to me like big "the other thing" - but fortunately for me and unfortunately for him - that is not the case). She and her husband has any issue with this public statement here, please come and meet me in person so that I can abuse you guys further. Getting stuck with such an ugly girl for a life time is the biggest punishment he could get - and this I didn't say, my best friend Ananya said, I am just repeating here. Oh I will write something else here? I just loved the way his lady love (she was quite another psycho by the way) removed him from her friend list in Facebook. They had been friends till some days before his marriage. Whatever be the reason, I am happy that his most loved person slapped him - a very well deserved slap I must say. Why I didn't remove him? Why should I? I live to see if he'd be happy - I shall follow that all my life, I must know for myself if God decides to favor nasty human beings who take pleasure in ruining other people's lives, or if He is good enough to punish them.
Coming back to the movie, there is this line - Tiffany says, "I trusted you, I opened up to you - and you judged me". Know what this so called "love of my life" told during his confrontation with M? She said, "She is suffering, cries all the time, I think she doesn't deserve this". The beast says, "She was like this when I met her for the first time". Bloody AH, I wanted to shout, did I ask you to be my friend? Did I seek for your help, because I was like this when you met me? I was happy with my life, whatever turn it had taken. You had no right to pretend to be a friend and stab me on my already existing wound and waste two years of my life. I hate you for that. What exactly would have happened if Pat in the movie, had kissed Tiffany and then gone back to that Nikki lady? Ya it feels sad to admit, but my Boo Boo is indeed that kinda bastard.
The movie made me laugh hysterically. I know how it feels to belong to a crazy family, having crazy people around you, and still trying to be happy all the time. I am a girl who calls a spade a spade. I don't have many friends, but the ones I have, are enough for sustenance. I haven't harmed anyone knowingly. I don't mind other people being happy because my life is screwed up. I try to read, write, watch movies ranging from rom com to horror to what not, watch TV (earlier I didn't, but now seems to be a good time pass, I watch debates and award ceremonies all alike) and like it was important for Tiffany to just participate in the dance competition, it is important for me to keep my career going, because that is the only straw this sinking girl has, the only thing that isn't entirely spoiled yet. Yes, I don't dream anymore of a fairy tale romance, often my sexual desires get almost out of control and I have nothing to do about them except reading up some "safe" erotic sites, but I don't feel guilty about any of that. I don't feel guilty about the one mishap that overshadowed my life so long, thank God I don't have the baby to share my agonies, it is much better if he comes back in my better times, if he chooses to abandon me, may he be happy with the mum who replaces me. I am happy in my life, with all the faults in it. I don't wanna better myself, or worsen for that matter - I feel, continuing to fight this battle, everyday, even when you feel depleted, is all that matters. I don't seek a result, today is all I have, and however late I sleep, I must wake up and reach office in time, and finish my best practices document and go on to test the account opening module.
I regularly put nail polish these days, on both my hands and feet, just to add a bit of a color to my life. However much hectic the weekends be, I'd find time to repaint my nails, preferably with some new color. And I happen to enjoy every bit of that newly colored life, thank God once again that I got rid of my drab love story with a spineless creep.
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