A lot happened today and the major part of it is not funny. Because it was I who had to face the music. The test drive was a real rotter. It has been six months since I had last driven a car, and I did a real flop show. For two of the cars I tried, the sales executive was there, and he was rather polite and helpful (my dad explained that the reason was his entitlement to the commission once I buy the car), whereas for the last one, he had to go somewhere and he instructed one of the drivers of the showroom to help me out, and he in no time asked me, "so, did you get your license?" I nodded. He made a grumpy face and said, "you still have a lot to learn". And he asked me to get down from the car, kind of dismissing me. And my brother was also vociferous in his criticisms (he doesn't drive by the way - nobody in my family does - my dad probably knows the essentials of driving, but even he doesn't drive). I felt so crappy, I cannot explain in words. Towards the end of my driving classes, I had gained some confidence. I don't know what happened. Perhaps the lack of practice is to be blamed. Whatever, I felt more comfortable driving a manual one. Because that is what I had learned. The automatic seemed jerky, though there was hardly any driving to do. But with the manual you feel more in control. I don't know the feasibility of employing a driver when my salary only is this low, and the contract job this uncertain (if the next installment of funds don't come, I don't get a salary after two more months). But oh, how I want a car. I have never wanted anything in life to this extent. And I want to drive. Vertigo or whatever, I want to drive.
Because what else is there in life? Marriage doesn't seem to be on the cards. I won't say that people are not trying, My parents, some of the relatives, even some of the neighbors are trying hard. But then Bengali menfolks, they won't settle for less, you see. Today a neighbor uncle forced me to open an account in the local bank, because he has apparently chosen the accountant there as my prospective groom. And since I am getting paranoid about my FDs (oh the incessant request of - please invest with us as well - whenever I walk into a non home branch of all my private banks) - I kind of had nothing to lose in opening an account with a government bank. See, the guy is good looking enough, but he is disorganized and nervous - he kept forgetting things and I kept guiding him (well, you see I am not that pretty so as to cause a lapse in regular concentration to one's work). And meeting him was not particularly lucky for me, considering the fiasco regarding the test drive. So, in the evening when I was sitting idle with dad, I told him, that frankly speaking I'd prefer Iniesta look alike to this guy. He blurted out, but then he doesn't want you, his parents rejected you because they want a younger bride. I was like - what? why didn't you tell this to me earlier? He meekly admitted that mom thought it's better not to tell - I'd be unhappy. Ohh...I thought to myself...they did follow up then until it reached a blind lane - and all the time I was thinking why my parents don't show enough interest in my marriage. Well, I guess it is my fate to be blamed, for you see, I have been turned down on other contexts (she's fat) when I have been younger (and slimmer than I am now). Why, 10 years back Anand's mom had felt that I look older than him - why to blame people now? I don't really want to indulge in self pity. I am not particularly inclined to go for a nervous banker with a weird dressing sense, and come on, there's hardly any guarantee that even he won't reject me - in fact in all probability he will.
As of now my only ambition in life is to be able to drive without stressing myself. Please God, let that work out somehow.
Because what else is there in life? Marriage doesn't seem to be on the cards. I won't say that people are not trying, My parents, some of the relatives, even some of the neighbors are trying hard. But then Bengali menfolks, they won't settle for less, you see. Today a neighbor uncle forced me to open an account in the local bank, because he has apparently chosen the accountant there as my prospective groom. And since I am getting paranoid about my FDs (oh the incessant request of - please invest with us as well - whenever I walk into a non home branch of all my private banks) - I kind of had nothing to lose in opening an account with a government bank. See, the guy is good looking enough, but he is disorganized and nervous - he kept forgetting things and I kept guiding him (well, you see I am not that pretty so as to cause a lapse in regular concentration to one's work). And meeting him was not particularly lucky for me, considering the fiasco regarding the test drive. So, in the evening when I was sitting idle with dad, I told him, that frankly speaking I'd prefer Iniesta look alike to this guy. He blurted out, but then he doesn't want you, his parents rejected you because they want a younger bride. I was like - what? why didn't you tell this to me earlier? He meekly admitted that mom thought it's better not to tell - I'd be unhappy. Ohh...I thought to myself...they did follow up then until it reached a blind lane - and all the time I was thinking why my parents don't show enough interest in my marriage. Well, I guess it is my fate to be blamed, for you see, I have been turned down on other contexts (she's fat) when I have been younger (and slimmer than I am now). Why, 10 years back Anand's mom had felt that I look older than him - why to blame people now? I don't really want to indulge in self pity. I am not particularly inclined to go for a nervous banker with a weird dressing sense, and come on, there's hardly any guarantee that even he won't reject me - in fact in all probability he will.
As of now my only ambition in life is to be able to drive without stressing myself. Please God, let that work out somehow.
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