My first hate post

Ok then, whom do I hate... I hate people who cheat. Any kind of cheating...or breach of trust - I find loathsome. And when its done by someone close, its even worse. And I hate falsehood. I hate that wretched son of a bitch who tried to play God when I was irrepairably shattered and then went away showing his moronic whim. However he is not a person ever worthy of my anger. He tried to treat me as dirt, now I have really treated him as dirt. It hurts most when pompous flirts like him tend to lose their bloated sense of importance. But dogs (real dogs...the animals are far far better than them) and insects need to be shown their place.

But my dear dear friend, what place should I show YOU? What made you do what you did. You are not a bad person, you just can't be. You are one of the reasons why I am alive today. Why did you have to cheat me? How I hate this situation. How I feel like breaking into tears in front of you and remind you how many times I have begged you not to lie. You were like my little brother...I was ok with teaching you how to live...I was ok with your mischiefs...but I am not ok with the truth. The friendship has to break now. I felt it long back...that you are taking advantage but sisters do spoil their kid brothers. However, now its not so simple anymore.

Whom to trust? And if there's noone to trust then how to live in this world?

Translation of a certain unknown poem...

When the heart was looking for shelter from rain –
Moonbeams came instead to ease my deep pain...

Some words hide in the air,
Water hides some,
Some remain in the mind,
Sobbing yet calm.

Engraved in burnt earth–
Snow white - sleep in foreign hearth

Those were days insane –
Without a thought of loss or gain.
The first monsoon - drizzles don't end –
Darkened with the first clouds God send.

Words in my heart, when came to my lips -
Wanted to step out - my place looked undone.
Couldn’t find way and the road was steep –
Before I could reach you, the time was gone.

Silent noon - dumbness struck
My life's abode.
The joy of love flooded the heart
Now it's a load –
Of dreamlessness - bliss that's no more
The choked breeze that fails - to open the door.

Engraved in burnt earth
Snow white - sleep in foreign hearth

Discovering you

What I loved about you...and what kept me awake...say till 3:30 in the night...on the very first day of acquaintance (do we call in acquaintance…assuming you don’t even know me?)

You read
You write
…

ROTFL writing till now…just imagine…you must be awe struck by now with your talents…WOW man, I read…and I write as well…WOW really WOW…wonder how many persons on earth have actually learnt to do that J J

Ok the caustic remarks accepted…I just loved the fact all the same. Frankly speaking you are an extinct species. Haven’t found your type among my usual friends. Well, Avik-da for one…is different, but if you understand me, he is very different kind of different. And don’t tell me that I don’t know many people. Studying human mind is my favorite past time, you know. In general, and in my arena of work…men don’t read (how to put this in a better way I don’t know…they do read, but I don’t find in them that particular depth of thought, pondering over a particular work for days…you know…very rare – to rephrase this is what I love to do – and I found the exact trait in you)

Same about your writing. It’s something like a transferred epithet in a remote sense. Because I do it, I liked you doing it. Frankly speaking in my life, I have been a very lazy girl, doing little else than reading, writing, a little bit of music, lots of movies…an introvert kind of life you may say…I do not socialize much, I do not travel a lot(but like travelling)…I have my own world. Well, what appears till now is that you are definitely not introvert, but at the same time…you seem to be so much like me. Somehow you touched a chord…somewhere.

Another 1st June

Started feeling pensive from a few days earlier. Andy's birthday used to be a happening event every year. In a way Andy was my kid... giving him gifts and seeing him happy was such a pleasure. Difficult to accept that this 1st June I won't even be entitled to wish him.
Day went ok types...ordeal that office these days is. What with the new underpass construction near my place...traffic gets diverted and it results in a 15 min longer walk. So there I was...in the last lap of my walk...just one more turn to go...and home noisy home (due to the repulsive oriya/santhal neighbors who keep blabbering in a strange dialect and in terribly loud and non-musical voices - I hate them and wanna drop all six bullets from my non existent revolver into their head) - when I found a whitish doggy trying to cross the road. At the same time got the same multitude of emotions I usually get whenever I witness this event...be careful...is it really necessary?...please don't die...dear sweet doggy do please take care....I kept whispering all these stupid stuff to myself...and...OH MY GOD...doggy was crossing...rash driving Indica was approaching...I was looking from behind...doggy and Indica intersected...Indica didn't stop...doggy went inside it...I literally saw him going inside...and wanted to shut my eyes...NO NO NO...can't see a doggy dying on Andy's birthday...NO PLEASE NO...and then...a loud bark...doggy came out unscathed...from under the Indica...couple of more barks...and vanished in the road...abandoning his idea of crossing the road.

I was literally exhilerated. In my happiness I did two things. First went to the parlor to thread my eyebrows. Second, went home and played my keyboard. After such a long time...gave quite a competition to my neighbors in noise though... :D :D