Much ado about nothing...

I went berserk in the last couple of days. I was trying to handle issues in my crude disorganized ways and was being largely successful in managing the stuff. The regular issues - like ill health of family members, discomfort at work - when one fine evening I realized that I couldn't locate two pairs of gold earrings. It didn't matter that just the other day I discovered that I am not aware where I had kept my passport and PAN card, but that was not the snapping point. To think I was a careerist once. It really didn't matter to me that I might never again be able to go abroad or open another bank account. Two sets of tiny gold jewelry - like if you sell them off now you might get some 1000 bucks at most - and all hell broke lose in me. From early childhood I have never lost my gold earrings. Silver, yes, gold no. I might have lost them temporarily but always got them back. Mom says it's not good to lose gold. In my own imagination I spun out the rest of the story.

Gold represents your soul mate.
If you lose gold your soul mate would be in trouble. Something bad might happen to him.

In fear of this self concocted story of something happening to a soul mate who doesn't even seem to exist for me, I went into depression. Amid that depression I kicked myself to start mode and put in a Herculean effort to organize my stuff and look for the lost jewelry. It would be sufficient to say that I hardly find enough space on the bed to lie down and stretch fully - and there were a month full of worn clothes that were not cleaned and ironed properly - just thrown around after use. And bags and suitcases strewn around - from my occasional official travels I couldn't say no to. Overflowing paperwork - hospital documents to bills - count in project artifacts, bank documents, books and the usual electronic gadgets - jewelry and watches in various stages of neglect - in short it was a mess.

In a Godsend way, tonight, after a long tiring dismal day when once again I was coaxing myself to restart the search, I suddenly discovered the tiny round jewelry box containing the two earrings among clothes and protein shake boxes - in the shelf below the drawer where I keep my expensive jewelry. I am not exactly relieved (in my heart of hearts I almost admit that it was a good driving force towards making my world a bit more tidy) but I feel better after a long time. I am still to look for my passport though :P