I think I am the greatest alive fan of Arijit Singh. Every night I get crazy about some or the other of his songs and start behaving like a real addict. I start hyperventilating for a mp3 version of the song which I can put on a repeat mode and go to sleep, else I won't be able to sleep altogether. I love this madness. In fact this is what keeps me going, total blind submission to a feeling, being washed over by it.
I have learned so much in these couple of years of having gradually given up all my expectations from life. Just going on with the motion of living life in the present. Never ever to think about the future or allow myself to dream. Mom was recuperating in the nursing home. The evening before her release the doctor came to visit her and finding us in the room, he started chit chatting. "How many kids?" - he asked. I nodded..."So, planning for kids? They will come soon I guess..." - he went on prodding. He's a gynecologist, it's a question of his bread and butter after all. "No, I am not married yet" - I blurted. He seemed almost upset.
It feels good to run the household for once in my lifetime. Though it is real back breaking work to manage office, home, a sick room (mom), an old age home (gran) and my crazy dad over that. This is my only bliss. Going to sleep with Arijit Singh crooning in my ear. If I am lucky some droplets of tears stream down involuntarily. That's about it :)
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