Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Do anniversaries exist for broken relationships?

There was a hope against hope you know - a feeble, almost dying hope, that you just might happen to remember today's date. And then, seeing your attitude today, I accepted the truth and just let that hope die. Yes, you don't have any feeling whatsoever left for me. But then, there being place for this truth to exist, isn't there in this wide world, a little bit of space to accommodate my truth as well? The truth that I did happen to remember today's date, did dress up in a very subdued kind of special way and left for office, was heartbroken and abused and wondered numbly if this is actually our 2nd anniversary and we were actually that much close just two years back - or it has been 20 years or may be even more, still I happened to have some golgappa on my way home, laughed and joked with the kid who served (he prefers to serve his golgappas tikha and khatta, and I prefer them with meetha paani, but to keep his wish I had to accept one with khatta paani as well) - and as I walked back, despite whatever way you behave with me, or act as if I am someone non existent in your world, or someone whose shadow even is highly infectious and must be avoided at all costs, I still love you - I love you and I close my eyes, embrace you with my left hand round your neck and right hand around your waist, and my left cheek lighly brushing against your right one, I whisper once again in your ears, my Boo Boo...

Highly scandalizing, na sweetheart? Yes, I agree, but you see, it is indeed a very liberal world, it allows your truth of cheating me and using me and throwing me away to coexist with perfect poise along with my truth of trusting you, believing you and unconditionally loving you. I don't need to explain myself beyond this - I have earned the liberty to live like this - it takes a very brave heart to win this kind of freedom :)

I actually looked up the calendar in my desktop to check if I remember the date correctly. Yes, 7th August 2011 was a Sunday, you did come to meet me soaked in the rain, did change into my blue jeans and we spent the entire afternoon and the evening together - together in a way soul mates do. How can I forget the sanctity of that day darling? If I ever do, that day I shall also stop loving you. And if God is there somewhere, He will take care that a day will come, when you will also long for me, not for any stupid electric shock, but to know that someone can love you despite knowing the kind of person you actually are. Everyone seeks reassurance at some point in time, you will also need it sometime. Till then, feel free to act away. 

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