A not so good poem...

The glow, it went from my face,
The bounce and cheer…there’s no trace.
As if I feel there’s something amiss -
Your absence hurts, there’s no peace.
The dullness is in stark contrast,
To the soulful banter and outburst
Of emotions, laughter, giggles and pain –
That comes naturally in your company,
The surge of life, obvious and uncanny.
It’s not about loss…neither gain,
I need you for my existence.
Walking by you…as it rains…
As storm comes…as sun shines…
In all those moments that life defines
As important or not so prime.
The intense times and the ones sublime -
I want to spend all that with you.
Do call me back…let me live anew…

The dreaded time...

Like all girls, I too dreamt of a life. Which I never got. The time has come. To prepare for a journey that takes me away from my dreams. Dreams that were anyways not mine. I have done too many mistakes in life to deserve something good.

I don't want to go away from you...can you help?

Discovering him...

My friends would be frustrated with me. Even I'd be. I am not a suitable person for this role. I am selfish. Typically selfish. I demand things for myself, though I never get them. It is so not in my blood to give give and never to expect anything in return.

But then, typically, how does the happiness linger like this? I have never been so happy in life. Not even on that day in Bintan. No. This is a different happiness. A swelling happiness that emerges from your soul. Can't describe it in words.

The last week, with its numerous shades, has been illuminating to say the least. It is not just light, it's an aura. I know, the light might not stay. Darkness might return. But the full moon we saw together, on Holi night, will always remain etched on my mind.

Today I strongly believe, everything in life is predetermined. God always has a plan. Rest is up to us.

Happiness is a state of mind...

I can't explain how relaxed I feel today. I don't have a single weight on my heart. No misgiving, no apprehension.

Andy used to say...do your best and leave the rest. In fact he was so smitten with this, that he set it as the start up text in his mobile. And then, my bossie used to say, well timed silence is more eloquent than speech. Fine then, I have followed my two good friends of the past, and done what they believed in. I have done my best, and now I resort to silence.

Who said I can't live alone? My books and my music will never leave my side. They are inseparable friends of mine. It's not like I don't feel lonely, but I have learnt to shove aside my loneliness. If this is my destiny, then I accept my life this way itself. I cannot do anything more God dammit...

I leave everything to God...

And ya...forgot to tell you...I'm smitten with this song these days...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNhzEs3DzUk